Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize