If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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