I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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