he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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