Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize