i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
