Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
