So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
