yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
