I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
