it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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