Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
