Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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