It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
