The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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