Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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