considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize