you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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