Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
