I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
