I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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