I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
