the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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