I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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