I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
