But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
