some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize