Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
