I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
