Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
