i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
