TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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