I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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