I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
