So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize