Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
