You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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