Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
