is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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