It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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