youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
