I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize