At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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