it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize