wrigley field is MILF paradise
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
