I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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