exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pooping to opera.
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