Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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