My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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