and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
