I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize