Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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