This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
