We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
