So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
