Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
