This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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