you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
