yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
