I could have mohawked her pubes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
